Friday, December 9, 2011

Worry

I try so hard not to worry about things but some days/times I can't help when my mind wanders.

I was doing pretty good, the spotting had stopped for 2 days and the cramping was very minimal.

Well, yesterday mid day the cramping got pretty intense and a few hours later I was spotting. It's still got a little brownish tint to it but it's also got a pinkish hint too....which combined with the intense cramping really got my head in bad places.

I am emotionally trying to detach myself and prepare for this pregnancy to end as the rest have. I was so tired yesterday afternoon, couldn't fall asleep b/c I was cramping and finally went up to bed around 7 to take a nap. I figured Chris would call from work around 8:30ish so his call would wake me up. I woke up around 9:15 on my own. I really wanted to talk to my husband, to let him know my worries and just hear his voice. I tried calling him but got his voicemail, they must have been busy. He didn't ever get back to me.

I really wish that I could sleep through the entire first trimester so that my mind doesn't wander and freak out so much.

I am glad Chris will be home the next 4 days.

Sorry, not much of an update...more just me worrying.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Moving right along

So I am 12dpo today and had a repeat beta/p4 and also had my TSH drawn.

My 10dpo beta was 12.98 and my p4 was 21. The RE wasn't concerned about the number being lower since I was catching the pregnancy early.

I got a little worried on Sunday, about an hour or two after I gave myself my first Lovenox shot...I started spotting. I spotted on/off Sunday and a little into Monday and haven't had much since then except when I go to the bathroom...sorry TMI. : D

I've also had a little bit of cramping here and there but nothing too severe, it's more like I feel like I pull a muscle if I do too much. I'm trying to drink plenty of water and just take it easy.

Todays results are moving in the right direction.

My nurse is betting on multiples. I actually swore on the phone a few times when she said that.

My beta today is 68 and my p4 is 33. My TSH went up to 3.25 so I need to double up on my synthroid.

So I go back on Saturday for another beta/p4 and then again on Monday.

My first ultrasound is 12/19.

We are still not out of the woods but we are moving in the right direction and that is an excellent thing.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

10dpo

So I'm 10dpo today.

I tested yesterday because we were going to dinner for my birthday and I planned on having a margarita. I used a wondfo brand cheapie and it was stark white. I did order a margarita with dinner but it was the worst margarita I have ever had in my life. I think I drank about 1/2 in off the top and then couldn't drink anymore. Also, the guacamole didn't taste quite right. I even said at dinner that it tasted like it had mayo in it.

So this morning I decided to test again, definitely expecting a negative again. After all, I have never gotten a positive HPT before 13-14dpo.

I was quite shocked when this appeared, actually I was so shocked that I thought it was a faulty test or evap and took another...

Photobucket

I called the RE office and they had me come right in for blood work. I got there at 7:30am, was in and out quickly. Usually the office calls with results earlier on the weekends but not until 10am-ish. When my phone rang and it was 8:45am, I picked it up and it was Dr. Miller himself!!! He congratulated me and wanted me to start on the Lovenox today.

Since it takes a few days for the pharmacy to get the Lovenox in, he said they could give me some samples but I had to swing by the office. So I drove back to the office and got some samples. The nurse was awesome, she hugged me and said she'd pray that this one sticks. She also made me give myself todays injection. That baby hurt bad but is oh so worth it if I stay pregnant.

I got back Tuesday morning for a repeat beta, p4 and my thyroid level.

Prayers are appreciated, although we are excited....we are still very cautious.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

12 days of Christmas---I mean catch up!

Wow, so the last time I updated was CD7 and today is CD19. I've been crabby about this cycle and wasn't feeling it from the start and well, you'll see that my "not feeling" it attitude, turned out to be true. I'll update each day in a different color so that they don't run into each other.

CD9 Update:
I got my fasting insulin and glucose levels back. My insulin was 22.7 and my glucose was 63. The insulin is higher than the RE likes for treatment purposes, so he put me back on 1500mg Metformin and I am also going to be low carb. Less than 30g of carbs per day. Some days have been better than others but it's definitely not easy and I seem to be hungry pretty much constantly. I had a really hard day on Thanksgiving with so much food around and not really being able to eat anything but turkey and cranberries with some water. Yea, it was that fun. Anyways....enough of that.

Here were my stats from the appt:

lining 9mm type 1

R ovary- 13mm, 15 under 10mm

L ovary- cl 14mm, 13mm, 13mm, (15mm), 8 under 10mm

e2- 204.8
p4- 0.4

Plan:

125IU Follistim
10cc low dose


CD11 Update:

11mm type 1

l ovary-- 20mm, 16mm, 14mm, ten under 10mm

r ovary--15mm, 14mm, ten under 10mm

e2--529
p4--0.4

insulin was high== 22.7
glucose was slightly low== 63


Plan:

75 IU follistim
15cc low dose


CD13 Update----here is where the fun begins:

lining 10mm type 1

R ovary-- 19mm, 17mm, 17mm, 14mm, 13mm, 4-5 less than 10mm

L ovary-- 24mm (cl), 20mm, 19mm, 17mm, 15mm, 13mm, a couple less than 10mm.

e2- 1500
p4- 0.4

IUI's canceled. The RE is not willing to risk his name/license to proceed with the risk of a higher order pregnancy. For each mature follicle you should have approx. 200pg/ml of estradiol.
So if you look at my e2 levels, I have 7 maybe 8 mature follicles. Way too risky.

Have sex, risk of twins is 25% and triplets or higher 10-15%.
No sex, wait for next cycle to begin. Chance that cysts will be present and cancel next cycle as well.

However, the RE feels that the favor is in our odds that IF we do get pregnant, he thinks it will be a singleton. Without trigger, he is sure that TI is okay as I will most likely release the most mature egg, possibly a second mature but nothing more than that. He is comfortable if we make the decision to go ahead and try TI on our own this cycle.

I am mad because my nurse was out on vacation on CD11 when my low dose HCG was decreased to 10cc. I feel like just by decreasing it that little bit at the time when my follicles were growing at a more rapid pace that it screwed the whole cycle. The nurse that instructed me to decrease my low dose is newer to the clinic. She is also the one that lost our signed consent forms this cycle.

I talked to the RE about the issue with the low dose. He is confident that the decrease in low dose HCG didn't affect the outcome of the cycle and explained how she messed up. Clearly, the clinic needs to communicate better though...because this obviously was a mess up and if we were doing IVF, I'd be even more livid. The low dose HCG is mixed by them in their lab. The dose of 15cc is EQUAL to 10 units. So when the nurse told me to take 10 she meant units, which as a patient...I have no flucking clue that 10u = 15cc. The nurse should have just told me to take 15cc like they always do.

One plus is the RE said because of this cycle being canceled they will provide, free of charge my follistim for next cycle. That is very kind and definitely appreciated.

We'll look at doing another one in December but chances are we'll have to wait till January because of cysts from this past cycle being present.

I have requested that this nurse who messed up not give me results or orders. Chris also felt strongly about this. I understand we aren't doing IVF and investing as much but we are still paying close to 3k for each cycle, and this one was obviously a bust.

So we decided to do TI and I am approx 5dpo today. I'm not really having any symptoms other than sore nipples. To be honest, I don't really have much hope that this is our month. I mean, we've tried on our own for months without much success.

We closed on our new house last week, the day before Thanksgiving. We met the current (well previous now) owners who built the house. They are super nice and adopted their son...9 months later she was pregnant without IF treatments or help! Insane how things work out. They did share with us the adoption agency they used and we have emailed back and forth about buying some things from them that they don't have use for and she has said to feel free to ask if we had any questions along the way. We've been talking more about adoption recently and are definitely leaning that way. She was going to email me after they close on their house tomorrow to let me know what day they'll be out of there for sure. I think people come into our life for a reason and definitely feel like we found their house and things are falling into place like they should.

I've been sewing like a crazy lady the last few days, I'm trying to get a lot of projects I have in my mind done before we move.

Our real estate agent told us that he gives his clients all a voucher for a free Christmas tree from a local farm each year. I am so freaking excited. You go out on a big "sleigh" which is a wagon ride and actually cut down the tree yourself. You can make fresh wreaths in their shop and they have hot cocoa and HOLY SHIT I FEEL LIKE A KID IN A CANDY SHOP. We haven't ever had a real tree and threw ours out last year after the basement flooded...so this is super exciting and I am really looking forward to enjoying the day with Chris.

Okay...going to state it now and then be done because this is getting long.

My goal once we move is to......be totally unpacked before Christmas. We should be moving sometime like 12-13 of December....so it gives me about 10 days or so to move everything and unpack. A little insane and if I don't meet it, won't be the end of the world but the sooner we unpack and start to settle in, the better I'll feel. I hate digging in boxes trying to find what we need!


Friday, November 18, 2011

CD7 update

So I was waiting to hear back from the nurse today until I updated everything but the call didn't reveal the rest of the labs I was waiting for, they're still pending.

I went yesterday from my CD7 scan and labs.

I need to mention that I am about to ask my nurse to make sure I don't get a certain girl drawing my blood again. She seriously sucks and I get her every.single.time I am there. I honestly don't mind being stuck a couple times, but don't stick me...go through the vein and then proceed to DIG AROUND IN MY ARM. Yesterday I got a little nauseated when she was going pretty much 180 degrees in either way from where she put the needle in at. So my veins suck, bad....like if I were dying, I have one good vein in my left AC and the only other vein that is a guarantee hit would be my jugular in my neck. I have had so much blood drawn and pretty much all my IV's in my left AC because no one wants to deal with the shitty veins elsewhere.

So I have started limiting how much access I give to my left AC for blood draws. I am fearful that if there was a time where I really needed urgent fluids or blood drawn, they wouldn't be able to use my left AC b/c of scar tissue. So my idea is to only let them use that arm once every 7-10 days so it has sufficient time to heal.

So anyways my scan was okay. I still have some free fluid in my uterine cavity. The RE didn't seem too worried about it but I am worried b/c I am done bleeding and not really sure if it will interfere with getting and staying pregnant. Here are my stats from the scan:

R ovary- 12 follies less than 10mm
L ovary- 13mm, 12mm, 11mm. CL from last cycle 15mm. About 6 measuring less than 10mm.

Lining 5mm.



So my labs came back (except fasting insulin and glucose) and they were okay. I didn't note my CD3 labs, so I'll list both to compare. The RE isn't super satisfied with my e2 levels, he feels they should be higher so I did have to increase my stims and decrease the low dose.

CD3:
e2= 23.87
p4= 0.4

CD7:
e2= 57.28
p4= 0.4

So, here is the breakdown for meds for yesterday and today:

Increase follistim 125ic
Decrease low dose 10cc

I go back for a CD9 scan and labs tomorrow morning. I feel like things are moving along a lot faster this cycle than last. I had originally thought I was going to be triggering around Tues/Weds and IUI's would be Weds-Fri at some point. Now I think I'll be triggering Sun/Mon with IUI's somewhere between Mon-Weds.

Nothing is more fitting than basting my uterus with my husbands sperm a day or so before we baste the turkey for Thanksgiving. Sorry for the crudeness....I'm feeling a little feisty today.

All right, I'm off to walk the dog before it gets dark. I'll update tomorrow after I know more.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Unnecessary worrying

So I haven't posted in a few days, I'm not sure what my deal is...I'm tired maybe. I don't know, I'm sleeping plenty. As a matter of fact, I'm probably sleeping more than I need to. I'm bored and when boredom strikes, my mind begins to worry about every little thing.

I haven't really had anything to update fertility wise, I go for my CD7 scan and labs tomorrow morning. Otherwise I've been doing injections every night. Last cycle I was thinking I had some sort of stomach bug while using the injects because I went from constipated to diarrhea the entire time I was on the shots. I also had some nausea and fatigue. It did go away after I stopped the injections but I still thought it was just because of having some sort of stomach bug.

Well....tonight will be my fourth injection and I am having stomach issues and nausea again. So this is where my worrying comes in. Nausea is a sign of OHSS. I think I will mention it to the RE tomorrow. It'll actually be my RE (I haven't seen him in over a month since it's just happened to be the other RE on mornings when I've been there.) I hate being a worry wart and it's nearly impossible to NOT look things up on the internet. So I guess I'll just worry until tomorrow morning rolls around and I can see my insides on the screen.

Nothing much else to say...sorry for the boring update.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

CD3, IUI #3

A few days late but better late than never.

We kind of contemplated taking the next 2 cycles off but decided that our excuse of the holidays wasn't really a good enough excuse.

So AF showed up on 11/11/11...what a marvelous fact I'll remember for the rest of my life. What was even better is that it was the middle of the night, so I woke up at 2:30am to a mess. I didn't have another pair of yoga pants in the bathroom but I did have a pair of meds fleece pants that I decided to put on so I didn't have to wake up Chris trying to find another pair of yoga pants to sleep in. I climbed back into bed and quickly realized that I would need a pair of yoga pants because I couldn't even move in the fleece ones. I dropped my phone in the closet using it as a light. In the end, I ended up waking up Chris but he didn't remember it in the morning.

I went for CD3 scan and labs today. My lining is at 2mm, I do have some free fluid in my uterus that is excess blood that I will lose. My right ovary had 22 follicles less than 10mm and my left ovary had about 10 follicles less than 10mm. I have 2 CL cysts on my left ovary (which is where I ovulated last cycle) that are measuring 20mm and 13mm. The 13mm one is collapsed on two sides and the RE said as long as neither are making any hormones we're good to go this cycle.

One of the nurses called today and my labs looked good. My e2 was 23 and fsh was 6.1 so things are moving forward.

I'll be using follistim and low dose hcg during stims again and ovidrel at trigger. We will automatically put me on Prometrium 200mg 2X a day vaginally at 3dpo. The RE said it is NOT normal for AF to show up early while using injects or on any medicated cycle.

I am still angry that last cycle was a bust because my LP wasn't even long enough to have an implantation. It seems like it was a waste of money, meds and time on everyone's part. At least we tweaked how I responded and can have a better idea of how this cycle will go, if it happens like last time.

Thats all for now, just hoping that lucky IUI #3 is our shot.