Wow, so the last time I updated was CD7 and today is CD19. I've been crabby about this cycle and wasn't feeling it from the start and well, you'll see that my "not feeling" it attitude, turned out to be true. I'll update each day in a different color so that they don't run into each other.
CD9 Update:
I got my fasting insulin and glucose levels back. My insulin was 22.7 and my glucose was 63. The insulin is higher than the RE likes for treatment purposes, so he put me back on 1500mg Metformin and I am also going to be low carb. Less than 30g of carbs per day. Some days have been better than others but it's definitely not easy and I seem to be hungry pretty much constantly. I had a really hard day on Thanksgiving with so much food around and not really being able to eat anything but turkey and cranberries with some water. Yea, it was that fun. Anyways....enough of that.
Here were my stats from the appt:
lining 9mm type 1
R ovary- 13mm, 15 under 10mm
L ovary- cl 14mm, 13mm, 13mm, (15mm), 8 under 10mm
e2- 204.8
p4- 0.4
Plan:
125IU Follistim
10cc low dose
CD11 Update:
11mm type 1
l ovary-- 20mm, 16mm, 14mm, ten under 10mm
r ovary--15mm, 14mm, ten under 10mm
e2--529
p4--0.4
insulin was high== 22.7
glucose was slightly low== 63
Plan:
75 IU follistim
15cc low dose
CD13 Update----here is where the fun begins:
lining 10mm type 1
R ovary-- 19mm, 17mm, 17mm, 14mm, 13mm, 4-5 less than 10mm
L ovary-- 24mm (cl), 20mm, 19mm, 17mm, 15mm, 13mm, a couple less than 10mm.
e2- 1500
p4- 0.4
IUI's canceled. The RE is not willing to risk his name/license to proceed with the risk of a higher order pregnancy. For each mature follicle you should have approx. 200pg/ml of estradiol. So if you look at my e2 levels, I have 7 maybe 8 mature follicles. Way too risky.
Have sex, risk of twins is 25% and triplets or higher 10-15%.
No sex, wait for next cycle to begin. Chance that cysts will be present and cancel next cycle as well.
However, the RE feels that the favor is in our odds that IF we do get pregnant, he thinks it will be a singleton. Without trigger, he is sure that TI is okay as I will most likely release the most mature egg, possibly a second mature but nothing more than that. He is comfortable if we make the decision to go ahead and try TI on our own this cycle.
I am mad because my nurse was out on vacation on CD11 when my low dose HCG was decreased to 10cc. I feel like just by decreasing it that little bit at the time when my follicles were growing at a more rapid pace that it screwed the whole cycle. The nurse that instructed me to decrease my low dose is newer to the clinic. She is also the one that lost our signed consent forms this cycle.
I talked to the RE about the issue with the low dose. He is confident that the decrease in low dose HCG didn't affect the outcome of the cycle and explained how she messed up. Clearly, the clinic needs to communicate better though...because this obviously was a mess up and if we were doing IVF, I'd be even more livid. The low dose HCG is mixed by them in their lab. The dose of 15cc is EQUAL to 10 units. So when the nurse told me to take 10 she meant units, which as a patient...I have no flucking clue that 10u = 15cc. The nurse should have just told me to take 15cc like they always do.
One plus is the RE said because of this cycle being canceled they will provide, free of charge my follistim for next cycle. That is very kind and definitely appreciated.
We'll look at doing another one in December but chances are we'll have to wait till January because of cysts from this past cycle being present.
I have requested that this nurse who messed up not give me results or orders. Chris also felt strongly about this. I understand we aren't doing IVF and investing as much but we are still paying close to 3k for each cycle, and this one was obviously a bust.
So we decided to do TI and I am approx 5dpo today. I'm not really having any symptoms other than sore nipples. To be honest, I don't really have much hope that this is our month. I mean, we've tried on our own for months without much success.
We closed on our new house last week, the day before Thanksgiving. We met the current (well previous now) owners who built the house. They are super nice and adopted their son...9 months later she was pregnant without IF treatments or help! Insane how things work out. They did share with us the adoption agency they used and we have emailed back and forth about buying some things from them that they don't have use for and she has said to feel free to ask if we had any questions along the way. We've been talking more about adoption recently and are definitely leaning that way. She was going to email me after they close on their house tomorrow to let me know what day they'll be out of there for sure. I think people come into our life for a reason and definitely feel like we found their house and things are falling into place like they should.
I've been sewing like a crazy lady the last few days, I'm trying to get a lot of projects I have in my mind done before we move.
Our real estate agent told us that he gives his clients all a voucher for a free Christmas tree from a local farm each year. I am so freaking excited. You go out on a big "sleigh" which is a wagon ride and actually cut down the tree yourself. You can make fresh wreaths in their shop and they have hot cocoa and HOLY SHIT I FEEL LIKE A KID IN A CANDY SHOP. We haven't ever had a real tree and threw ours out last year after the basement flooded...so this is super exciting and I am really looking forward to enjoying the day with Chris.
Okay...going to state it now and then be done because this is getting long.
My goal once we move is to......be totally unpacked before Christmas. We should be moving sometime like 12-13 of December....so it gives me about 10 days or so to move everything and unpack. A little insane and if I don't meet it, won't be the end of the world but the sooner we unpack and start to settle in, the better I'll feel. I hate digging in boxes trying to find what we need!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
CD7 update
So I was waiting to hear back from the nurse today until I updated everything but the call didn't reveal the rest of the labs I was waiting for, they're still pending.
I went yesterday from my CD7 scan and labs.
I need to mention that I am about to ask my nurse to make sure I don't get a certain girl drawing my blood again. She seriously sucks and I get her every.single.time I am there. I honestly don't mind being stuck a couple times, but don't stick me...go through the vein and then proceed to DIG AROUND IN MY ARM. Yesterday I got a little nauseated when she was going pretty much 180 degrees in either way from where she put the needle in at. So my veins suck, bad....like if I were dying, I have one good vein in my left AC and the only other vein that is a guarantee hit would be my jugular in my neck. I have had so much blood drawn and pretty much all my IV's in my left AC because no one wants to deal with the shitty veins elsewhere.
So I have started limiting how much access I give to my left AC for blood draws. I am fearful that if there was a time where I really needed urgent fluids or blood drawn, they wouldn't be able to use my left AC b/c of scar tissue. So my idea is to only let them use that arm once every 7-10 days so it has sufficient time to heal.
So anyways my scan was okay. I still have some free fluid in my uterine cavity. The RE didn't seem too worried about it but I am worried b/c I am done bleeding and not really sure if it will interfere with getting and staying pregnant. Here are my stats from the scan:
R ovary- 12 follies less than 10mm
L ovary- 13mm, 12mm, 11mm. CL from last cycle 15mm. About 6 measuring less than 10mm.
Lining 5mm.
So my labs came back (except fasting insulin and glucose) and they were okay. I didn't note my CD3 labs, so I'll list both to compare. The RE isn't super satisfied with my e2 levels, he feels they should be higher so I did have to increase my stims and decrease the low dose.
CD3:
e2= 23.87
p4= 0.4
CD7:
e2= 57.28
p4= 0.4
So, here is the breakdown for meds for yesterday and today:
Increase follistim 125ic
Decrease low dose 10cc
I go back for a CD9 scan and labs tomorrow morning. I feel like things are moving along a lot faster this cycle than last. I had originally thought I was going to be triggering around Tues/Weds and IUI's would be Weds-Fri at some point. Now I think I'll be triggering Sun/Mon with IUI's somewhere between Mon-Weds.
Nothing is more fitting than basting my uterus with my husbands sperm a day or so before we baste the turkey for Thanksgiving. Sorry for the crudeness....I'm feeling a little feisty today.
All right, I'm off to walk the dog before it gets dark. I'll update tomorrow after I know more.
I went yesterday from my CD7 scan and labs.
I need to mention that I am about to ask my nurse to make sure I don't get a certain girl drawing my blood again. She seriously sucks and I get her every.single.time I am there. I honestly don't mind being stuck a couple times, but don't stick me...go through the vein and then proceed to DIG AROUND IN MY ARM. Yesterday I got a little nauseated when she was going pretty much 180 degrees in either way from where she put the needle in at. So my veins suck, bad....like if I were dying, I have one good vein in my left AC and the only other vein that is a guarantee hit would be my jugular in my neck. I have had so much blood drawn and pretty much all my IV's in my left AC because no one wants to deal with the shitty veins elsewhere.
So I have started limiting how much access I give to my left AC for blood draws. I am fearful that if there was a time where I really needed urgent fluids or blood drawn, they wouldn't be able to use my left AC b/c of scar tissue. So my idea is to only let them use that arm once every 7-10 days so it has sufficient time to heal.
So anyways my scan was okay. I still have some free fluid in my uterine cavity. The RE didn't seem too worried about it but I am worried b/c I am done bleeding and not really sure if it will interfere with getting and staying pregnant. Here are my stats from the scan:
R ovary- 12 follies less than 10mm
L ovary- 13mm, 12mm, 11mm. CL from last cycle 15mm. About 6 measuring less than 10mm.
Lining 5mm.
So my labs came back (except fasting insulin and glucose) and they were okay. I didn't note my CD3 labs, so I'll list both to compare. The RE isn't super satisfied with my e2 levels, he feels they should be higher so I did have to increase my stims and decrease the low dose.
CD3:
e2= 23.87
p4= 0.4
CD7:
e2= 57.28
p4= 0.4
So, here is the breakdown for meds for yesterday and today:
Increase follistim 125ic
Decrease low dose 10cc
I go back for a CD9 scan and labs tomorrow morning. I feel like things are moving along a lot faster this cycle than last. I had originally thought I was going to be triggering around Tues/Weds and IUI's would be Weds-Fri at some point. Now I think I'll be triggering Sun/Mon with IUI's somewhere between Mon-Weds.
Nothing is more fitting than basting my uterus with my husbands sperm a day or so before we baste the turkey for Thanksgiving. Sorry for the crudeness....I'm feeling a little feisty today.
All right, I'm off to walk the dog before it gets dark. I'll update tomorrow after I know more.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Unnecessary worrying
So I haven't posted in a few days, I'm not sure what my deal is...I'm tired maybe. I don't know, I'm sleeping plenty. As a matter of fact, I'm probably sleeping more than I need to. I'm bored and when boredom strikes, my mind begins to worry about every little thing.
I haven't really had anything to update fertility wise, I go for my CD7 scan and labs tomorrow morning. Otherwise I've been doing injections every night. Last cycle I was thinking I had some sort of stomach bug while using the injects because I went from constipated to diarrhea the entire time I was on the shots. I also had some nausea and fatigue. It did go away after I stopped the injections but I still thought it was just because of having some sort of stomach bug.
Well....tonight will be my fourth injection and I am having stomach issues and nausea again. So this is where my worrying comes in. Nausea is a sign of OHSS. I think I will mention it to the RE tomorrow. It'll actually be my RE (I haven't seen him in over a month since it's just happened to be the other RE on mornings when I've been there.) I hate being a worry wart and it's nearly impossible to NOT look things up on the internet. So I guess I'll just worry until tomorrow morning rolls around and I can see my insides on the screen.
Nothing much else to say...sorry for the boring update.
I haven't really had anything to update fertility wise, I go for my CD7 scan and labs tomorrow morning. Otherwise I've been doing injections every night. Last cycle I was thinking I had some sort of stomach bug while using the injects because I went from constipated to diarrhea the entire time I was on the shots. I also had some nausea and fatigue. It did go away after I stopped the injections but I still thought it was just because of having some sort of stomach bug.
Well....tonight will be my fourth injection and I am having stomach issues and nausea again. So this is where my worrying comes in. Nausea is a sign of OHSS. I think I will mention it to the RE tomorrow. It'll actually be my RE (I haven't seen him in over a month since it's just happened to be the other RE on mornings when I've been there.) I hate being a worry wart and it's nearly impossible to NOT look things up on the internet. So I guess I'll just worry until tomorrow morning rolls around and I can see my insides on the screen.
Nothing much else to say...sorry for the boring update.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
CD3, IUI #3
A few days late but better late than never.
We kind of contemplated taking the next 2 cycles off but decided that our excuse of the holidays wasn't really a good enough excuse.
So AF showed up on 11/11/11...what a marvelous fact I'll remember for the rest of my life. What was even better is that it was the middle of the night, so I woke up at 2:30am to a mess. I didn't have another pair of yoga pants in the bathroom but I did have a pair of meds fleece pants that I decided to put on so I didn't have to wake up Chris trying to find another pair of yoga pants to sleep in. I climbed back into bed and quickly realized that I would need a pair of yoga pants because I couldn't even move in the fleece ones. I dropped my phone in the closet using it as a light. In the end, I ended up waking up Chris but he didn't remember it in the morning.
I went for CD3 scan and labs today. My lining is at 2mm, I do have some free fluid in my uterus that is excess blood that I will lose. My right ovary had 22 follicles less than 10mm and my left ovary had about 10 follicles less than 10mm. I have 2 CL cysts on my left ovary (which is where I ovulated last cycle) that are measuring 20mm and 13mm. The 13mm one is collapsed on two sides and the RE said as long as neither are making any hormones we're good to go this cycle.
One of the nurses called today and my labs looked good. My e2 was 23 and fsh was 6.1 so things are moving forward.
I'll be using follistim and low dose hcg during stims again and ovidrel at trigger. We will automatically put me on Prometrium 200mg 2X a day vaginally at 3dpo. The RE said it is NOT normal for AF to show up early while using injects or on any medicated cycle.
I am still angry that last cycle was a bust because my LP wasn't even long enough to have an implantation. It seems like it was a waste of money, meds and time on everyone's part. At least we tweaked how I responded and can have a better idea of how this cycle will go, if it happens like last time.
Thats all for now, just hoping that lucky IUI #3 is our shot.
We kind of contemplated taking the next 2 cycles off but decided that our excuse of the holidays wasn't really a good enough excuse.
So AF showed up on 11/11/11...what a marvelous fact I'll remember for the rest of my life. What was even better is that it was the middle of the night, so I woke up at 2:30am to a mess. I didn't have another pair of yoga pants in the bathroom but I did have a pair of meds fleece pants that I decided to put on so I didn't have to wake up Chris trying to find another pair of yoga pants to sleep in. I climbed back into bed and quickly realized that I would need a pair of yoga pants because I couldn't even move in the fleece ones. I dropped my phone in the closet using it as a light. In the end, I ended up waking up Chris but he didn't remember it in the morning.
I went for CD3 scan and labs today. My lining is at 2mm, I do have some free fluid in my uterus that is excess blood that I will lose. My right ovary had 22 follicles less than 10mm and my left ovary had about 10 follicles less than 10mm. I have 2 CL cysts on my left ovary (which is where I ovulated last cycle) that are measuring 20mm and 13mm. The 13mm one is collapsed on two sides and the RE said as long as neither are making any hormones we're good to go this cycle.
One of the nurses called today and my labs looked good. My e2 was 23 and fsh was 6.1 so things are moving forward.
I'll be using follistim and low dose hcg during stims again and ovidrel at trigger. We will automatically put me on Prometrium 200mg 2X a day vaginally at 3dpo. The RE said it is NOT normal for AF to show up early while using injects or on any medicated cycle.
I am still angry that last cycle was a bust because my LP wasn't even long enough to have an implantation. It seems like it was a waste of money, meds and time on everyone's part. At least we tweaked how I responded and can have a better idea of how this cycle will go, if it happens like last time.
Thats all for now, just hoping that lucky IUI #3 is our shot.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
spotty spot spot
Yup, you got it....looks like AF will be here even before my dumb beta.
I have had some pretty decent cramping for the last few days (two days for sure, probably three that it's been bothering me.)
When I got up this morning (at 4:30am!!) I went pee, took a pregnancy test that was obviously more negative than negative could be. And when I wiped....there was spotting.
Awesome. Well, not really but I did know that this cycle was a bust early on.
I'm thinking AF will show either later today or sometime tomorrow.
I'm trying to decide if doing treatment cycles the next two months are worth it or not. I know the holidays add their own unique stress but shooting up hormones while trying to get through the holidays may make for some very enjoyable (not) holidays for everyone that has to deal with me.
If we do another IUI right now (well, this coming cycle that should be starting in a day or so) and it doesn't work, we can do one final one in December and gear up for IVF in late Jan/early Feb 2012. Or we can do a third and final IUI right now and take December off and start IVF in Jan/Feb.
I have to talk to my husband about all this as these are just thoughts going through my head.
Or, we can just stop trying to have a kid and adopt another dog and just be pet lovers. Way easier, their shit decomposes outside and you can put them in a crate and leave.
I also have to say it....the Duggars make me sick. Seriously, TWENTY??? What a farking joke. God doesn't bless you, you're just blessed with fertility and horny. Really though, how the hell do they even find time to have sex?!?!
Yes, I am bitter today. And you know what, I'm allowed to be. If you don't like it or want to deal with it, simply find the little "x" and click on it.
I have to say I am super thankful we didn't lose power last night. I really was worried we were going to and I'd have to deal with the generator and I can't start that damn thing. Plus, with the inspection this morning I was super nervous that the power wouldn't be back on.
I'm also thankful for chocolate. Yes, I have had even more in the last day or so. I also plan on ordering greasy pizza for dinner and having a drink with it.
Ok, I think I've made my point. I'll update again in a day or two when I've decided on what we'll do and am not so bitter and crabby.
I have had some pretty decent cramping for the last few days (two days for sure, probably three that it's been bothering me.)
When I got up this morning (at 4:30am!!) I went pee, took a pregnancy test that was obviously more negative than negative could be. And when I wiped....there was spotting.
Awesome. Well, not really but I did know that this cycle was a bust early on.
I'm thinking AF will show either later today or sometime tomorrow.
I'm trying to decide if doing treatment cycles the next two months are worth it or not. I know the holidays add their own unique stress but shooting up hormones while trying to get through the holidays may make for some very enjoyable (not) holidays for everyone that has to deal with me.
If we do another IUI right now (well, this coming cycle that should be starting in a day or so) and it doesn't work, we can do one final one in December and gear up for IVF in late Jan/early Feb 2012. Or we can do a third and final IUI right now and take December off and start IVF in Jan/Feb.
I have to talk to my husband about all this as these are just thoughts going through my head.
Or, we can just stop trying to have a kid and adopt another dog and just be pet lovers. Way easier, their shit decomposes outside and you can put them in a crate and leave.
I also have to say it....the Duggars make me sick. Seriously, TWENTY??? What a farking joke. God doesn't bless you, you're just blessed with fertility and horny. Really though, how the hell do they even find time to have sex?!?!
Yes, I am bitter today. And you know what, I'm allowed to be. If you don't like it or want to deal with it, simply find the little "x" and click on it.
I have to say I am super thankful we didn't lose power last night. I really was worried we were going to and I'd have to deal with the generator and I can't start that damn thing. Plus, with the inspection this morning I was super nervous that the power wouldn't be back on.
I'm also thankful for chocolate. Yes, I have had even more in the last day or so. I also plan on ordering greasy pizza for dinner and having a drink with it.
Ok, I think I've made my point. I'll update again in a day or two when I've decided on what we'll do and am not so bitter and crabby.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Three days and other ramblings.
So, I called today to move my beta up. I didn't give the nurse any reasoning and just said I wouldn't be available Sunday. My usual nurse is out until the 18th...so I spoke with someone else. I also asked for a refill on my PNV's. I usually use Walgreens but had her call it into Meijer so I could get the free ones. I feel guilty getting free ones though, they are not the same and I feel like somehow they are not as "good" as the Prefera OB w/DHA that I've been taking for the last year.
So, Saturday will be the day of doom. I'm already trying to prep my brain that I know it'll be negative.
I have been testing out my trigger, I'm 12dpt today. At 10dpt, the test line was gone. Yesterday at 11dpt, it was back faint but definitely there. Today at 12dpt, there was nothing there. We're talking stark white, can't get anymore negative nothing there. I honestly didn't get too excited yesterday with the faint line because I didn't expect this cycle to work. I kept telling myself that it was just the trigger fooling me. I was not surprised this morning when it was clearly negative. Actually, I wasn't that disappointed either. I knew yesterday was just a fluke.
I caved after 26 days of no candy, caffeine or fast food. I got all 3 in one day. Oops. I actually bought a bag of hersheys kisses, the hugs ones. They are pretty good, I have to ration myself so I don't get out of control again.
On Monday I made the dog a bright orange vest to wear for when we walk him in the woods. It turned out pretty nice. It fit him nicely and I was pretty happy that I made it in a few hours. I killed my hips and back though because I just sat on the hardwood floor and used the foot pedal with my hand. I'm still paying the price for that a few days later. Yesterday I made him booties for walking in the snow with. They turned out nice too. I need to make a few more pairs since they will get dirty and need to be washed daily. I think I will make the next 2 pairs just a little bit bigger than the first pair I did. Otherwise, I'm happy with them. Here's a pictures of pup in his new vest!
We have the inspection here tomorrow, 8:30am. Yikes that's early but don't worry...I'll be up. I've been up by 5am everyday this week from the dumb time change.
It's raining here today and supposed to snow tomorrow. Oh joy, I can hardly wait.
I have a massive amount of laundry to do but still haven't started it. I am procrastinating but am contemplating taking a nap. It's so gloomy and cold here today, I just want to snuggle in the bed.
So, Saturday will be the day of doom. I'm already trying to prep my brain that I know it'll be negative.
I have been testing out my trigger, I'm 12dpt today. At 10dpt, the test line was gone. Yesterday at 11dpt, it was back faint but definitely there. Today at 12dpt, there was nothing there. We're talking stark white, can't get anymore negative nothing there. I honestly didn't get too excited yesterday with the faint line because I didn't expect this cycle to work. I kept telling myself that it was just the trigger fooling me. I was not surprised this morning when it was clearly negative. Actually, I wasn't that disappointed either. I knew yesterday was just a fluke.
I caved after 26 days of no candy, caffeine or fast food. I got all 3 in one day. Oops. I actually bought a bag of hersheys kisses, the hugs ones. They are pretty good, I have to ration myself so I don't get out of control again.
On Monday I made the dog a bright orange vest to wear for when we walk him in the woods. It turned out pretty nice. It fit him nicely and I was pretty happy that I made it in a few hours. I killed my hips and back though because I just sat on the hardwood floor and used the foot pedal with my hand. I'm still paying the price for that a few days later. Yesterday I made him booties for walking in the snow with. They turned out nice too. I need to make a few more pairs since they will get dirty and need to be washed daily. I think I will make the next 2 pairs just a little bit bigger than the first pair I did. Otherwise, I'm happy with them. Here's a pictures of pup in his new vest!
We have the inspection here tomorrow, 8:30am. Yikes that's early but don't worry...I'll be up. I've been up by 5am everyday this week from the dumb time change.
It's raining here today and supposed to snow tomorrow. Oh joy, I can hardly wait.
I have a massive amount of laundry to do but still haven't started it. I am procrastinating but am contemplating taking a nap. It's so gloomy and cold here today, I just want to snuggle in the bed.
Monday, November 7, 2011
"The antidote to depression is compassion"
We had a nice weekend even though I wasn't feeling great. I think I am coming down with a cold, it started late last week and seems to just be sorta hanging on. Nothing bad, more of an annoyance than anything.
It was stunning here this weekend, the weather was gorgeous and pretty much perfect fall weather. Sunny, clear skies and crisp mornings with beautiful afternoons. The time change was (and always is) a little rough on me.
Yesterday we celebrated Nana's birthday, she will be 87 in a few days. It was nice to see the family and spend a day just enjoying being with each other and celebrating Nana.
I went to yoga yesterday morning, it was the first time with this particular instructor and I really enjoyed her class. It was tough, we did a lot of sun salutations and after a few together she let us go at our own pace. Near the end of the class, we were doing some gentle stretching and relaxing and the instructor said a lot of uplifting things. I think the one that rings true to me right now is the quote I have for today's entry. She also reminded us to check in with ourselves every couple of hours and see what kind of person we have been to others, where have our thoughts been and where do we want our thoughts to be for the next few hours. It was an excellent reminder that although you may have a bad moment, don't let it ruin your entire day.
Dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss can bring you down lower than you thought you'd ever go. Although I have many friends (online and a few IRL) that can relate I still feel so alone on this journey. I often feel depressed and worthless. I think what she said really was a blessing and reminder to me to continue to be compassionate towards others and it will lift me up.
So we also received some really exciting news yesterday. We were with my husbands family and I went to get my phone. I had a voicemail from the real estate companies phone number, instead of calling them back right away I listened to my voicemail. It was our agent and we had an offer on the house!!!! I motioned for Chris to come outside and told him (it was really loud in the house.) We called our agent back and got the details. We ended up discussing it and countering back. Our agent was on the road in between showings so we didn't expect to hear back from him last night at all. We left my inlaws house around 5pm. It was maybe 6pm or so and we were relaxing on the couch and he called. They accepted our counter offer! Closing will be within 45 days and they will get possession at closing.
I AM SO RELIEVED!!! I was so worried we were going to have to go through the holidays with two houses and two mortgages. I have been stressing so much about it and more so about not being able to truly celebrate the holidays because money was too tight.
Oh...if the papers are signed today, closing will be before or on 12/21/11.
Our new house closing should be around the 22nd of this month. We gave the current owners an additional 45 days after closing. Which, if you do the math.....we may be homeless for a few weeks. Because 45 days after closing brings us to 01/06/12.
We can stay with family for a few weeks, we'll deal but it'll definitely be hard right at the holidays but I think the worst part will be having to move twice...once wherever we go and then a few weeks later again. Hopefully this will be our last move for many, many years! : )
It was stunning here this weekend, the weather was gorgeous and pretty much perfect fall weather. Sunny, clear skies and crisp mornings with beautiful afternoons. The time change was (and always is) a little rough on me.
Yesterday we celebrated Nana's birthday, she will be 87 in a few days. It was nice to see the family and spend a day just enjoying being with each other and celebrating Nana.
I went to yoga yesterday morning, it was the first time with this particular instructor and I really enjoyed her class. It was tough, we did a lot of sun salutations and after a few together she let us go at our own pace. Near the end of the class, we were doing some gentle stretching and relaxing and the instructor said a lot of uplifting things. I think the one that rings true to me right now is the quote I have for today's entry. She also reminded us to check in with ourselves every couple of hours and see what kind of person we have been to others, where have our thoughts been and where do we want our thoughts to be for the next few hours. It was an excellent reminder that although you may have a bad moment, don't let it ruin your entire day.
Dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss can bring you down lower than you thought you'd ever go. Although I have many friends (online and a few IRL) that can relate I still feel so alone on this journey. I often feel depressed and worthless. I think what she said really was a blessing and reminder to me to continue to be compassionate towards others and it will lift me up.
So we also received some really exciting news yesterday. We were with my husbands family and I went to get my phone. I had a voicemail from the real estate companies phone number, instead of calling them back right away I listened to my voicemail. It was our agent and we had an offer on the house!!!! I motioned for Chris to come outside and told him (it was really loud in the house.) We called our agent back and got the details. We ended up discussing it and countering back. Our agent was on the road in between showings so we didn't expect to hear back from him last night at all. We left my inlaws house around 5pm. It was maybe 6pm or so and we were relaxing on the couch and he called. They accepted our counter offer! Closing will be within 45 days and they will get possession at closing.
I AM SO RELIEVED!!! I was so worried we were going to have to go through the holidays with two houses and two mortgages. I have been stressing so much about it and more so about not being able to truly celebrate the holidays because money was too tight.
Oh...if the papers are signed today, closing will be before or on 12/21/11.
Our new house closing should be around the 22nd of this month. We gave the current owners an additional 45 days after closing. Which, if you do the math.....we may be homeless for a few weeks. Because 45 days after closing brings us to 01/06/12.
We can stay with family for a few weeks, we'll deal but it'll definitely be hard right at the holidays but I think the worst part will be having to move twice...once wherever we go and then a few weeks later again. Hopefully this will be our last move for many, many years! : )
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Disappointed
So yesterday was great (with the exception of my p4 results but we'll get to that in a bit.)
I started out early, I had to get to the clinic for my blood work. I woke up around 5:15 am and decided to hop in the shower so I could be done before Chris got up for work. I was excited to wear some of my new clothes that my mom bought me, I didn't feel like the usual slouch in just jeans and a t-shirt. I also actually did my hair, which made me feel good too.
Once I got home I had to pick things up and I made 2 loaves of banana bread. We had some people coming to look at the house so I needed to get out and figured since it was a beautiful day I would walk the dog. The people arrived early and I was rushing to get out of the house before they saw me. Literally as I closed the door to the laundry room they were opening the front door. Pup enjoyed the walk, we took our time since the people had a full hour. About 35 min later I got back to our street and saw the cars were gone so I came back home.
I had to get pup's crate back together and had about 15 minutes to get my knitting bag together before I had to leave for my knitting class. I'm working on the same Christmas stocking that is going to be the death of me. Yesterday I finished the heel turn and am now in the foot of the sock. I'll be at the toe soon and will hopefully get started on the next one within the week. I need them done before Christmas!
Once I got home from knitting class I ate some early dinner and relaxed for a couple of hours, I really should have napped but didn't want to sleep like crap so I forced myself to stay awake.
I heard from my nurse around 2:15pm. My p4 results are right on the border. They like to see them 10 or above and mine was right at 10. I was really hoping that it would be a little higher and am pretty disappointed. She said I don't need to start progesterone, which is a good thing but I am not sure if I'm comfortable with this. I know I was 3dpo for the p4 check and I'm comparing what my previous doctor wanted at 7dpo. I know I shouldn't worry and I'm not panicking but I am definitely nervous that it's not higher. I'm not having much for symptoms, my boobs are sore but I think that's from the trigger. I also have had gas but I've been eating a fair amount of pasta. I am testing out the trigger, it seems to be fading slower than last cycle.
I go in for my beta on the 13th. I plan on calling and asking the nurse today if I can move it to the 12th. The 13th is not a good day at all. It is the 1 year anniversary of my D&C and also grandmas death. I had my D&C early in the morning, we got home around 11am and both laid down. When we woke up, I told Chris I wanted to go see grandma and he started crying saying that she passed away just a short time ago. I feel really dumb to ask to come a day earlier but I honestly don't want anything else negative added to the day. Obviously I intend on hearing that my beta is negative. Not having much hope this cycle at all....negative nancy, I know.
Last night I also went to yoga, it was amazing. I felt great during and after. The instructor was wonderful, I expected to need a lot more help but only needed correcting once because I was stretching too far in triangle pose. I am really glad I asked for this as a birthday gift, I think I am going to really enjoy it immensely.
I'm not sure what today holds, Chris is on his first day of a four day. I'm hoping to get out and walk on the trail with him and the dog. I'm making minestrone for dinner. I plan on going to yoga tonight again.
Tomorrow I'm meeting with a fellow IF friend. She is in the middle of her second IVF cycle. I'm not sure what we're planning to do yet but I'm looking forward to seeing her. I also am going to a Resolve meeting tomorrow night, it's a different one than the first meeting I went to. I hope this one is a better fit for me.
Thats all for now....off to unload the dishwasher and do a few things around the house before Chris gets home.
I started out early, I had to get to the clinic for my blood work. I woke up around 5:15 am and decided to hop in the shower so I could be done before Chris got up for work. I was excited to wear some of my new clothes that my mom bought me, I didn't feel like the usual slouch in just jeans and a t-shirt. I also actually did my hair, which made me feel good too.
Once I got home I had to pick things up and I made 2 loaves of banana bread. We had some people coming to look at the house so I needed to get out and figured since it was a beautiful day I would walk the dog. The people arrived early and I was rushing to get out of the house before they saw me. Literally as I closed the door to the laundry room they were opening the front door. Pup enjoyed the walk, we took our time since the people had a full hour. About 35 min later I got back to our street and saw the cars were gone so I came back home.
I had to get pup's crate back together and had about 15 minutes to get my knitting bag together before I had to leave for my knitting class. I'm working on the same Christmas stocking that is going to be the death of me. Yesterday I finished the heel turn and am now in the foot of the sock. I'll be at the toe soon and will hopefully get started on the next one within the week. I need them done before Christmas!
Once I got home from knitting class I ate some early dinner and relaxed for a couple of hours, I really should have napped but didn't want to sleep like crap so I forced myself to stay awake.
I heard from my nurse around 2:15pm. My p4 results are right on the border. They like to see them 10 or above and mine was right at 10. I was really hoping that it would be a little higher and am pretty disappointed. She said I don't need to start progesterone, which is a good thing but I am not sure if I'm comfortable with this. I know I was 3dpo for the p4 check and I'm comparing what my previous doctor wanted at 7dpo. I know I shouldn't worry and I'm not panicking but I am definitely nervous that it's not higher. I'm not having much for symptoms, my boobs are sore but I think that's from the trigger. I also have had gas but I've been eating a fair amount of pasta. I am testing out the trigger, it seems to be fading slower than last cycle.
I go in for my beta on the 13th. I plan on calling and asking the nurse today if I can move it to the 12th. The 13th is not a good day at all. It is the 1 year anniversary of my D&C and also grandmas death. I had my D&C early in the morning, we got home around 11am and both laid down. When we woke up, I told Chris I wanted to go see grandma and he started crying saying that she passed away just a short time ago. I feel really dumb to ask to come a day earlier but I honestly don't want anything else negative added to the day. Obviously I intend on hearing that my beta is negative. Not having much hope this cycle at all....negative nancy, I know.
Last night I also went to yoga, it was amazing. I felt great during and after. The instructor was wonderful, I expected to need a lot more help but only needed correcting once because I was stretching too far in triangle pose. I am really glad I asked for this as a birthday gift, I think I am going to really enjoy it immensely.
I'm not sure what today holds, Chris is on his first day of a four day. I'm hoping to get out and walk on the trail with him and the dog. I'm making minestrone for dinner. I plan on going to yoga tonight again.
Tomorrow I'm meeting with a fellow IF friend. She is in the middle of her second IVF cycle. I'm not sure what we're planning to do yet but I'm looking forward to seeing her. I also am going to a Resolve meeting tomorrow night, it's a different one than the first meeting I went to. I hope this one is a better fit for me.
Thats all for now....off to unload the dishwasher and do a few things around the house before Chris gets home.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
November, already?!?
I can't believe that this year has gone by so quickly!
I am in the 2ww and just trying to get by each day. I go tomorrow for my p4 check. I am 99% sure I will be put on a supplement again. I am not feeling too good about this cycle, it doesn't help when I just have to wait it out. I'm bored and there isn't much left to do around the house.
So I had a really nice weekend but I accidentally caffeinated myself. I was meeting a good friend at Starbucks and there was no where to sit. So we walked over to Caribou, I have been there once but it was during the summer and I just ordered whatever my friend got. So I panicked a little because I wasn't sure what I should get. I ended up getting a vanilla northern lite but totally spaced and forgot to ask for caffeine free. I had the first two sips and upon swallowing my third sip, I realized and had a mini mental panic attack. I didn't drink anymore, felt guilty and ended up throwing the rest out. I still feel guilty.
I think I am going to ask for a 3 month unlimited package for yoga for my birthday. I am going to ask for it early so I can start sooner, rather than in a month. Once I talk to my mom, I may go there later today and see if I can sign up.
I am making spaghetti with garlic pita tonight, I am craving it beyond belief.
I am watching Ellen right now, I really love her. She makes me laugh every single time I watch her. I'd love to be on her show.
I need to get working on my knitting again, I need them done before Christmas and I have half of one done. I have class tomorrow from 12-2 but need to get some done today too!
I am in the 2ww and just trying to get by each day. I go tomorrow for my p4 check. I am 99% sure I will be put on a supplement again. I am not feeling too good about this cycle, it doesn't help when I just have to wait it out. I'm bored and there isn't much left to do around the house.
So I had a really nice weekend but I accidentally caffeinated myself. I was meeting a good friend at Starbucks and there was no where to sit. So we walked over to Caribou, I have been there once but it was during the summer and I just ordered whatever my friend got. So I panicked a little because I wasn't sure what I should get. I ended up getting a vanilla northern lite but totally spaced and forgot to ask for caffeine free. I had the first two sips and upon swallowing my third sip, I realized and had a mini mental panic attack. I didn't drink anymore, felt guilty and ended up throwing the rest out. I still feel guilty.
I think I am going to ask for a 3 month unlimited package for yoga for my birthday. I am going to ask for it early so I can start sooner, rather than in a month. Once I talk to my mom, I may go there later today and see if I can sign up.
I am making spaghetti with garlic pita tonight, I am craving it beyond belief.
I am watching Ellen right now, I really love her. She makes me laugh every single time I watch her. I'd love to be on her show.
I need to get working on my knitting again, I need them done before Christmas and I have half of one done. I have class tomorrow from 12-2 but need to get some done today too!
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