spotty spot spot

Yup, you got it....looks like AF will be here even before my dumb beta.

I have had some pretty decent cramping for the last few days (two days for sure, probably three that it's been bothering me.)

When I got up this morning (at 4:30am!!) I went pee, took a pregnancy test that was obviously more negative than negative could be. And when I wiped....there was spotting.

Awesome. Well, not really but I did know that this cycle was a bust early on.

I'm thinking AF will show either later today or sometime tomorrow.

I'm trying to decide if doing treatment cycles the next two months are worth it or not. I know the holidays add their own unique stress but shooting up hormones while trying to get through the holidays may make for some very enjoyable (not) holidays for everyone that has to deal with me.

If we do another IUI right now (well, this coming cycle that should be starting in a day or so) and it doesn't work, we can do one final one in December and gear up for IVF in late Jan/early Feb 2012. Or we can do a third and final IUI right now and take December off and start IVF in Jan/Feb.

I have to talk to my husband about all this as these are just thoughts going through my head.

Or, we can just stop trying to have a kid and adopt another dog and just be pet lovers. Way easier, their shit decomposes outside and you can put them in a crate and leave.

I also have to say it....the Duggars make me sick. Seriously, TWENTY??? What a farking joke. God doesn't bless you, you're just blessed with fertility and horny. Really though, how the hell do they even find time to have sex?!?!

Yes, I am bitter today. And you know what, I'm allowed to be. If you don't like it or want to deal with it, simply find the little "x" and click on it.

I have to say I am super thankful we didn't lose power last night. I really was worried we were going to and I'd have to deal with the generator and I can't start that damn thing. Plus, with the inspection this morning I was super nervous that the power wouldn't be back on.

I'm also thankful for chocolate. Yes, I have had even more in the last day or so. I also plan on ordering greasy pizza for dinner and having a drink with it.

Ok, I think I've made my point. I'll update again in a day or two when I've decided on what we'll do and am not so bitter and crabby.